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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733545">r/relationships, posted by u/otter_son</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsUtterson/pseuds/MsUtterson'>MsUtterson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jekyll &amp; Hyde - Wildhorn/Wildhorn &amp; Bricusse &amp; Cuden/Bricusse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Violence, Modern Retelling, Multi, Relationship Advice, Self-Reflection, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:07:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsUtterson/pseuds/MsUtterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John Utterson (29M) goes on r/relationships to seek advice.</p><p>A retelling of the musical’s events, from Utterson's point of view, told via Reddit threads.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emma Carew/Henry Jekyll, Henry Jekyll/Gabriel John Utterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married and I’m the best man, any advice?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based – albeit rather loosely, what with them having access to Reddit and whatnot! – on a production of Jekyll &amp; Hyde the musical that had both Jekyll and Utterson in their late 20s, heavily implied something had taken place between them before the events of the show, and canonically had Utterson unrequitedly in love with Jekyll.</p><p>I did my best to check that at the time of posting the chapters, none of the Reddit usernames mentioned in this fic were actually in use.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 8 hours ago</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married and I’m the best man, any advice?</strong>
</p><p>Basically what the title says.</p><p>I (29M) have been in love with my best friend (28M) (let’s call him J) for literal years, but I’ve never told him. Last summer, he met this girl (26F) (let’s call her E) and they recently got engaged. J asked me to be his best man, and I said yes, but now I’m starting to regret it.</p><p>Tonight, they threw an engagement party at E’s father’s place (her family is kinda posh), and J had asked me to give a speech, so I did. And it just felt so horrible, to see them standing there arms around each other, and to give this speech about me being so happy for them, and E being the right girl for J, and how I’m sure their wedding is going to be unforgettable… I really don’t like lying, but what else could I do?</p><p>Anyone else out there who’s been in a similar situation? Any advice would be appreciated because I really don’t know what to do or how to cope. A part of me feels like telling J I can’t be his best man, but that’d upset him and he’d also ask me why, and then I’d have to lie again (unless I told him the truth, but that’s terrifying, and I don’t think it would be such a good idea anyway.) But I feel like I’m going to burst if I keep going on like this, helping them out with the wedding and seeing them together all the time.</p><p>TL;DR I’m in love with my best friend, who asked me to be the best man at his wedding, and the whole situation is messing with me big time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>12 comments</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/I_can_see_angels</em>
</p><p>First of all, I’m so sorry that you’re in a situation like that. I dated a married man once, so I know from experience it can get messy, and I’m sending so much love and support your way.</p><p>However, I honestly think that by this point you should just grin and bear it. You say you’ve been in love with him for years but never told him, so… I know this can sound really harsh, but you can’t really blame him for getting engaged to someone else if you never gave him the chance to find out how you feel like, right? He’s found a person he wants to commit to, and the most loving thing you can do for him is to respect that, and to support him on their special day.</p><p>I hope I don’t sound too mean, I really feel for you. I sincerely hope you’ll find your peace with the whole situation soon.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/onnobodysside</em>
</p><p>Do you have reason to suspect J might have feelings for you, or is this 100% one-sided on your part?</p><p>
  <em>u/otter_son</em>
</p><p>Well, he slept with me once but then didn’t talk to me for two weeks, so I don’t know, getting some pretty mixed signals there</p><p>
  <em>u/onnobodysside</em>
</p><p>Hmm. Maybe you could ask him about that, and see if you can open a conversation about your feelings. It would probably be very awkward, but maybe it would also clear the air so both of you could move on with your lives?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. [UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life’s (28M) bachelor party was a mess and he acted weird towards a stripper. Am I overreacting?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 6 hours ago</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life’s (28M) bachelor party was a mess and he acted weird towards a stripper. Am I overreacting?</strong>
</p><p>First of all, thanks for the comments on my previous thread. I’m still unsure about what to do, but I’m going to read all your comments again after I’ve finished writing this post.</p><p>Anyway. Wanted to write a little update because the situation just got a little weirder.</p><p>Went out with J last night, just to kill some time. I thought we would just have a couple of beers somewhere quiet or something, but suddenly, J decided it's his bachelor night and dragged me into this strip club. I really didn't want to go, but he pressured me into it. He told me that as his best man, I’m supposed to give him a party, and the least I could do would be to come along. So much for the paintball party I’ve been planning, I guess.</p><p>So we went in, and J started ignoring me and hitting on this stripper right away. I think he was pretty into her, he gave her his number and a huge tip, and they chatted for a really long time. I didn't really pay attention to them though, I was mostly playing Words with Friends on my phone.</p><p>Then, completely out of the blue, J stood up and announced that we have to go. And on the way out, he said something really weird: that the stripper gave him an idea, and now he knows where to find a volunteer for his experiment. He sounded really excited. I asked him if he was talking about that stripper, and that if so, he’s playing with fire, but he just said something about never accomplishing anything if all he thought were the consequences. I asked him what he meant by that, but he just said good night and left.</p><p>I got the vibe J is thinking of cheating on E (his fiancée, 26F.) Am I being paranoid, or do you think I should try talking to him about it? It's not like I want him to get married or anything (see my previous thread for details) but even so, I don't feel very good about knowing he's going to conduct "experiments" with some random girl while being engaged to E. Hard enough being his best man without having to keep secrets like that. (Unless he means some literal experiment, but that would be even worse? He works in medical biochemistry, but I don’t think recruiting human guinea pigs from clubs is a part of the regular practice?)</p><p>TL;DR My best friend is getting married soon but it seems like he's planning on cheating already, should I say something or am I overreacting?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>19 comments</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/DiesIrae_DiesIlla</em>
</p><p>None of your business, let the man have his fun!!</p><p>
  <em>u/lavendervampire</em>
</p><p>i think your just being paranoid</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/I_can_see_angels</em>
</p><p>Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that J is acting like a jerk. I guess I can understand going to a strip club for your bachelor party (though I can't really, to be honest, I think it's nasty), but in my opinion, giving your number to a stripper while you're engaged to someone else is really crossing the line.</p><p>I think you should definitely talk to him and make it clear that he shouldn't be doing stuff like that behind his fiancée's back. Lasting relationships are built on trust and honesty, and as his friend, I hope you can help J understand that.</p><p>
  <em>u/DancerGirl482</em>
</p><p>Besides, he shouldn't be giving his number to a stripper to begin with, even if he was single. It's literally her job to act like she's into him, it's not his place to make any suggestions to her while she's working.</p><p>
  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
</p><p>yeah! if he’s really cheating on her, forget talking to him, talk to HER!! she deserves to know what her future husband is really like!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. [UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married in six weeks but he’s hiding from me and his fiancée (26F), getting pretty worried about him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 5 hours ago</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>[UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married in six weeks but he’s hiding from me and his fiancée (26F), getting pretty worried about him</strong>
</p>
<p>It's been a while since my last post here, but things have gotten so tense, I wanted to write another one.</p>
<p>First, though, thanks for the replies on the previous thread! I texted J about the whole stripper thing and said I wanted to talk, but he never answered me, which is actually why I'm writing this post.</p>
<p>This requires some background info, so: J is actually really smart, he has a PhD in biochemistry and works as a researcher. I don't know all the details, but his dad is chronically ill and J's working on something that's supposed to help him. He has even made one of the rooms in his house into a small private laboratory, he's that serious about it.</p>
<p>A while ago, J was trying to talk this local hospital (actually, the same one where they take care of his father) into letting him do some case studies with their patients. They told him it’ll be a cold day in hell before he gets to do that. Ever since, J’s been acting pretty weird about his work, constantly complaining how no one understands what he’s trying to do. Honestly, he’s right about that, I for one have no idea. But anyway, my point is that while J’s always been something of a workaholic, lately he’s been obsessing over his work way more than usual.</p>
<p>And after that bachelor party night, it’s like J has disappeared off the face of the earth. He’s been leaving my messages on read, and whenever I’ve tried to call, I just get his voicemail. He has sometimes done this in the past, but this time, it’s been going on for way longer than ever before. Honestly, it’s worrying me quite a lot and I keep thinking about him all the time (well yeah, I think about him all the time anyway, but even more often than I usually do, I guess.) I just really wish I knew what’s going on.</p>
<p>Yesterday, E texted me and asked me if I’ve heard from J lately. I said no and asked her why, and it turns out she hasn’t been able to reach him either. He’s only answered a couple of her texts, saying he’s super busy with work and that he will make up for the lost time with her once he’s done with some critical parts of the process.</p>
<p>So E asked me if I wanted to come along to his house to check if he’s okay, or “to talk some sense into him in case he won’t listen to me, since he honestly seems to value your opinions above mine most of the time,” as she put it. I answered yes, and we met up at his house last evening.</p>
<p>We kept ringing J’s doorbell for quite a while, and he didn’t answer, but Emma’s got the key, so she let us in. We could see right away there was a light coming in from under the laboratory door. First Emma called out to J, then I started banging on the door and saying we know he’s there. After five minutes or so of this, J finally opened the door, told us to piss off and slammed it shut again.</p>
<p>We only got to see him really briefly, but even so, I’ve never seen J look as terrible as he did yesterday. He looked like he hasn’t been sleeping for weeks, dark shadows under his eyes and his skin looking all ashy, and though he’s a thin guy to begin with, it looked like he’s been losing weight. Not going to lie, it was so awful to see him looking like that, I was lost for words for a while there.</p>
<p>E seemed really upset with the whole thing, she yelled some pretty foul things at the door before we left. And I can’t say I don’t understand her. It’s less than two months to go until their wedding and he’s hiding from her, no wonder she’s pissed off.</p>
<p>So, I don’t know… I guess I just want to ask you guys if anyone’s ever dealt with a situation like this before, and how did you resolve it? I’m really worried about J. I wonder if he’s really ill and for some reason doesn’t want to tell anyone. What would be the best way to reach out to him, so he will tell me what’s going on?</p>
<p>TL;DR My best friend has been in hiding for several weeks and doesn’t seem to be doing very well. What can I do to help him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>49 comments</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>u/SuperStar_in_a_WonderBra</em>
</p>
<p>Can I ask, what do you see in the guy? tbh he sounds kinda awful</p>
<p>
  <em>u/otter_son</em>
</p>
<p>Well, it's hard to explain, but I feel like he gets me better than anyone else. I feel at home with him. I know he can be a huge jerk sometimes, but… I don't know, he's my jerk, if that makes sense? He's been a part of my life for so long, and I don't want to lose him, I just… I want to wake up and see him next to me and know he's always going to be there? And I love making him laugh.</p>
<p>Plus he's pretty hot, ngl</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
</p>
<p>I want to give some advice to E, so OP, maybe you can pass the message along: LEAVE HIM. he’s never going to treat you right, it’s only going to get worse from here. no use getting married just to file for divorce two months later. save yourself the trouble and RUN!!</p>
<p>and F in the chat for OP, I guess, for being in love with a complete asshole. just forget all about him, he would never treat you right either.</p>
<p>
  <em>u/onnobodysside</em>
</p>
<p>Seconded.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>u/I_can_see_angels</em>
</p>
<p>I don’t know if I have anything very valuable to say here, I just want to send you so much love and healing. I understand that you’re worried about J, and based on your description, it certainly seems like things are not quite all right with him. But please remember to take care of your own wellbeing too. Though things may seem dark now, there will be light, and you deserve to be happy and to thrive.</p>
<p>I guess my advice is that you should keep texting and calling J. Leave him messages where you let him know that you’re not going to abandon him even though he’s going through a hard time right now. Tell him you’re worried about him and that he can always reach out to you, no matter what. But don’t let his problems become the only thing you think about, please please remember to take care of yourself first.</p>
<p>Keeping you in my thoughts. Feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk with.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. [UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) wants me to alter his last will and testament so some dude I’ve never heard him mention before will get everything. What should I do?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 9 hours ago</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) wants me to alter his last will and testament so some dude I’ve never heard him mention before will get everything. What should I do?</strong>
</p><p>I wish I had something nice to tell you for a change, but nope. The situation with J has gotten even worse than it already was.</p><p>After reading the comments on the last thread (thanks!), I sent J a bunch of texts, just saying that I hope he's okay and if he wants to talk, I'm here. Surprisingly enough, I actually heard back from him this time. Instead of texting me back, though, J sent me a really alarming email.</p><p>Backstory time again: I don't think I have mentioned it here before, but I'm a lawyer. I work with contracts, wills and things like that. And you should also know that I'm a huge advocate for everyone having a will, even young people. You never know what's going to happen, so you want to make sure your wealth goes to people you actually care about or causes you support! So a while ago, I talked J into making a will, with my help. He decided that E should get everything, so nothing out of ordinary there.</p><p>But about the email. Its subject line was “Only open this if I disappear or fall ill.” That sounded so ominous, I clicked it open right away. It only had a couple lines of text, and the gist was this: J wants me to alter his will so someone new, let’s call him H, will be his sole heir. He wants this H guy to get everything he owns, not only when he dies, but also in the case of his “unexplained absence of longer than three months.” During my career, I have never seen a caveat like that included in a will before.</p><p>And the most alarming thing is that I have no idea who this H is. I’ve never heard J mention him, and when I googled his name, nothing useful came up. I can’t find anyone called that on Facebook or anywhere.</p><p>So I called J, and lo and behold, he actually answered. I asked him what he means by the email, but he just told me I shouldn’t have opened it. I told him it seems clear to me he’s severely ill, and that I have to know who H is or I can’t make any changes to the will. He just told me he’s not sick and that I should not worry about that. I asked him what he meant by the disappearance thing. He said nothing. I asked him if someone is forcing him to do this. He said no. I asked him, again, who H was.</p><p>And J was silent for a long time, and then he went, in a really odd tone of voice, “H is my (long pause) assistant.” Then he went on, sounding a bit more normal, to say that he just wants to make sure H can continue his work, should something unexpected happen.</p><p>I may have used some pretty crude language at that point, and then, J just ended the call and didn’t answer when I tried calling again.</p><p>This is really confusing, but I know one thing for sure: J is lying. I’m 100% certain H is not his “assistant” or anything like that. J has never had an assistant before, he’s never even talked about hiring one. And why would an assistant need every single thing J owns to continue his work?</p><p>So I bet H’s one of two things. Either J owes a lot of money to H and cannot pay him back right now, and H is threatening him (shit, I just hope it’s not some mob boss who is planning on hiring a hitman to get him.) Or, and I think this is probably more likely, H is J’s secret boyfriend.</p><p>Which, if I’m correct about that… ugh. Well, it’s quite obviously better than a mob boss, but it still feels bad on so many levels. 1. Why hasn’t J told me, does he really trust me that little, 2. Why is he getting married to E if he has all these side hoes, one of whom is apparently so much more important to him than E that he wants to give everything he owns to him instead of her, and 3. I won’t lie, it hurts like hell to think about him with another man. It makes no sense, but I can’t get the thought out of my head that if I just had told him about my feelings, none of this would be happening.</p><p>Does anyone have any idea about what could be going on? I’m not going to alter the will, I don’t feel comfortable doing that when there is clearly something very wrong with J, he will have to ask someone else if he really wants it done. But other than that. How can I get J to tell me the truth about H?</p><p>TL;DR My best friend (though is he really? Doesn’t feel like that at the moment) is hiding something, likely a secret boyfriend, from me, and I just wish he would come clean to me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>148 comments</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/lavendervampire</em>
</p><p>definately a secret bf</p><p>
  <em>u/DiesIrae_DiesIlla</em>
</p><p>Definitely a drug money thing.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/dr_madden</em>
</p><p>You should try to get J to see a doctor. Of course I can’t diagnose him based on a second-hand account, but I could see his behaviour being due to an underlying health problem.</p><p>
  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
</p><p>or maybe he’s just a regular asshole???</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/Getyourfingersburned</em>
</p><p>OP, I can’t say what’s going on with J, but you have to understand you can’t fix his life for him. You should start seeing other people and cut J out of your life.</p><p>
  <em>u/otter_son</em>
</p><p>Okay, to the 50 of you who have sent me this exact same comment: do you really think I haven't thought about that?? The thing is, I’ve never felt the same way about anyone else as I feel about J, and really, I can’t see myself ever being able to form such a strong connection to anyone else. I know that sounds pathetic, but that’s how it is! And I don't know how you deal with these things, but it would feel so wrong to me to date someone else while I can’t get J out of my mind. Seriously though, if I could stop having these feelings for him, I would!!</p><p>And to the rest of you, who keep asking why I've never told J about my feelings: I can't see how this is so hard to understand, it's because I don't want to lose him. I'm 90% sure he has never had any feelings towards me, and I'm not willing to risk our friendship for that 10%. (I used to think he was 100% straight, but after he slept with me that one time, I haven't been sure about that anymore. YES, THAT HAPPENED. COMPLICATED MATTERS A LITTLE TO SAY THE LEAST!!!) It would make everything so awkward if I told him and he didn't feel the same, that might very well be the end of our friendship, and I HATE THE THOUGHT OF LOSING HIM LIKE THAT. Maybe I'm a coward and an idiot and a completely useless human being in general, and by the looks of it, I’m losing J all the same, but still I'd rather keep him in my life and keep my secret forever than tell the truth and live the rest of my life without him!!!</p><p>ETA: Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so pissed off and whiny. I know you guys are trying to help and support me. I was very tired, it's been a rough couple of weeks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. [UPDATE] Turns out my (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) has an evil second personality and he’s getting married in two weeks. Any advice appreciated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 8 hours ago</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>[UPDATE] Turns out my (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) has an evil second personality and he’s getting married in two weeks. Any advice appreciated</strong>
</p>
<p>Okay. You read the title, you know this update is going to get insane. I’ll try my best to keep this short, but be warned: it’s a lot.</p>
<p>So for a couple of weeks after my last update, it actually seemed like J was getting better, or returning to his old self, if that makes sense. He started sending me memes and tagging me in stuff pretty much every day again, and based on E’s Instagram, he took her out a couple of times. He even agreed to go to a football match with me last weekend, and I know he hates sports, so that’s saying something!</p>
<p>And two days ago, he texted me, asking me if he could borrow my rice cooker and some bamboo mats, because he was thinking of making sushi for E this weekend and he wanted to do it “the proper way.” I said I’d bring them to him the next day. I thought maybe I could give him some tips while visiting, because while J can be really enthusiastic about his cooking, the results are sometimes a little hit-and-miss… Anyway, yesterday after work, I went home to grab the cooker and headed to J’s place.</p>
<p>Turns out no one was home, and J didn’t answer his phone. I didn’t want to leave the cooker on the doorstep, so I just stood there with it, trying to decide what to do, when I suddenly heard someone telling me to get out of the way.</p>
<p>It was a guy I had never seen before, suddenly standing next to me on the doorstep, saying I should give him the cooker and then get lost.</p>
<p>The guy was wearing a hoodie, so I could only see a part of his face, but when I first looked at him, I thought he looked quite a lot like J. The feeling started fading away when I looked at him for a bit longer, though. Something about him simply didn’t feel right, he looked like J but didn’t feel like him.</p>
<p>He didn’t sound like J either, I could tell that because he kept telling me to hand over the cooker and go away. I thought he was just some weirdo off the street, so of course, I said no and told him to mind his own business. No use. Instead of leaving me alone, the guy called me by my name and told me, again, to hand over the cooker.</p>
<p>Him knowing my name tipped me off. I realised that this had to be H, and that J had told him about me.</p>
<p>So I asked the guy if he was H. He said yes. I asked him what he’s doing there, he said he’s waiting for J. I said I’m waiting for J too and I’m not leaving until I can give the cooker to J personally. H told me to give the cooker to him and scram. And this might sound silly, but I was getting really riled up because all the time, he kept using my name. Specifically, my middle name. The thing is, at work and on Facebook and so forth, I go by my first name, but my friends call me by my middle name. And the way this guy I had never met before kept using my middle name again and again and demanding I give him the cooker… He was getting on my nerves big time, so I kind of shouted at him to shut up.</p>
<p>I guess H thought I was making a scene, because he took a key from his pocket and started ushering me inside, telling me that maybe we should wait for J together. And before I knew it, I was standing in the dark hallway, still holding the rice cooker, with H, who had slammed the door shut and was suddenly holding a nasty-looking knife. Pointing the knife at me, he again told me to hand the cooker over.</p>
<p>To reiterate: I’m standing there and this guy is literally threatening to stab me over a rice cooker.</p>
<p>I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared in my life, so of course, I gave H the cooker. For whatever reason, that threw him off balance, and he put the knife on the hallway table to deal with it. I grabbed the knife without even thinking and… I don’t know, I was so scared, I just started shouting at H that he’s insane and he should get out of J’s house and go boil himself alive with rice on the side. And then it hit me that the mob boss theory I mentioned in my previous post was probably right, and H had probably stabbed J. I was panicking a little (well, a lot) by then, so I started telling H, over and over again, that he has to tell me what he’s done with J.</p>
<p>H went quiet for a moment, and then asked me if I really wanted to know. I said yes. He told me to wait there so he can get something from the laboratory. I said I’m coming with him. So we both went into the lab, he grabbed a syringe from a side table, and then turned to me and said: “[my name], you can still leave this house and keep living your life without knowing. You don’t have to see this.”</p>
<p>I told him I wanted to know what he’s done with J.</p>
<p>So he stuck the needle in his thigh, and before I knew it, he was rolling on the floor and screaming, and then, before I could figure out if I should call the emergency number and whether to ask for the police or the ambulance… I saw it was actually J.</p>
<p>I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, but it really was J. When he started talking, it was his voice, and his eyes, and… I know it sounds crazy, I really can’t tell what happened there, but only a minute ago, it had been someone I didn’t know, and now it was J.</p>
<p>So J was on the floor, and I wasn’t even thinking anymore, I dropped the knife and rushed over to hold him. He clung to me and started talking, but for a while, I couldn’t make any sense of his words. After a minute or so, he slowed down a little and I could work out what he was saying.</p>
<p>It’s bonkers, but here’s the thing in a nutshell. J had been working on a new drug to help his chronically ill dad (he has a super rare mental illness that almost no one else in the world has, and it’s gotten so bad, he’s pretty much out of it 24/7), and since the people at the hospital didn’t give J a permission to test it on their patients, he tested it on himself. Like the fucking idiot he is.</p>
<p>And instead of working as it should have, which would have been to make him all mellow and nice, the drug basically made him evil. J said H’s been doing a lot of horrible things (and yes, J spoke about H in the third person), and that half the time, he doesn’t even need the drug anymore for H to take over, and how he’s going to tweak the drug so he can get rid of H… And all this time, I was sitting on the floor, hugging J and sort of gently stroking his face.</p>
<p>I snapped out of it then, pretty much dragged J to his feet, and told him that you know what, let’s just calm down a little and I’ll make you some tea.</p>
<p>We sat in J’s kitchen and talked for quite a while after that. J kept saying H’s done horrible things and he’s so ashamed, and that he’s so sorry about H threatening me, and I kept saying it’s okay and I’m sure he can fix it (I’m not at all sure about that, but hell, I don’t see the use of telling J so.) I was so shocked about everything, I honestly can’t remember all that we talked about, but at one point, I did tell J that he’s the most important person in my life and that it would kill me if anything bad happened to him. Shit, I even held his hand for a moment there. That’s the closest I’ve ever come to telling J how I really feel about him. He was so distraught though, I don’t think he really understood what I was saying. That’s probably for the better.</p>
<p>I asked him if he wanted me to stay with him, but he said he needs some time to himself. I saw to it that he went to bed and walked home, and by that point, it was three in the morning already. I tried sleeping a little, called in sick, and now I’m writing this.</p>
<p>So. I don’t think there are many people out there who have experienced anything like this themselves, but if you were me, what would you do? I really don’t know, I’m too tired and frankly terrified to think clearly, so I’d really appreciate any thoughts you might have.</p>
<p>TL;DR My best friend/love of my life has split his personality and apparently done some very bad things. What should I do?</p>
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  <em>u/onnobodysside</em>
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<p>I know you can’t force him, but try to get J into a hospital. Sounds like he’s poisoning himself.</p>
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  <em>u/DancerGirl482</em>
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<p>Also, if you have to meet J again, please do it somewhere public and take a trusted friend with you. He didn’t hurt you this time, but next time, he may.</p>
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  <em>u/I_can_see_angels</em>
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<p>I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling right now.</p>
<p>Try to support J the best you can, and encourage him to seek help, but please, put your own safety first. Based on everything you’ve told us, J is not safe to be around, and you need to keep that in mind when interacting with him. I don’t think it would be a very good idea for you to meet him alone anymore, at least not until you know for sure he’s getting professional help for his problems.</p>
<p>Does E know about this? If not, I think you could try encouraging J to tell her, and maybe they could postpone the wedding until J’s doing better. Again, though, please be careful when you’re telling him this, and always put your own safety first. Please keep in mind that none of this is your fault, J has made his own mistakes and he has to put in work himself to fix the damage he’s done. There’s nothing you can do to change his life for him, he has to do that himself.</p>
<p>Above all, please stay safe. Keeping you in my thoughts.</p>
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  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
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<p>am I understanding this right, the wedding is still happening?? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS. stand up and spill everything when the priest says the speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace thing if you have to, but DO. NOT. LET. IT. HAPPEN. DM me E’s contact info, I’ll tell her myself if you’re too scared to!!!!!</p>
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  <em>u/lavendervampire</em>
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<p>can u get it on with the evil twin? lol</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. [UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married tomorrow and I’m afraid his evil side persona might cause trouble, should I take a knife to his wedding? (URGENT!!!)</h2></a>
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  <em> Posted by u/otter_son 3 hours ago </em>
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  <b>[UPDATE] My (29M) best friend/love of my life (28M) is getting married tomorrow and I’m afraid his evil side persona might cause trouble, should I take a knife to his wedding? (URGENT!!!)</b>
</p><p>J’s getting married tomorrow and things have gone to shit, so I’ll just get straight to it. For almost two weeks after writing my last post, everything seemed to be going okay! Until yesterday, when E texted me to say she hasn’t heard anything from J all day. I tried texting and calling, and nothing. So now, it’s less than 12 hours to go until J and E’s wedding, no one’s heard from J for two days, and knowing what I know, I fear it’s because he’s let his evil personality in charge again.</p><p>After writing my last post, I googled split personality disorders and stuff like that for the whole day. Nothing I read quite matched what J told me, so I don’t really know what’s going on with him, but in any case, I texted J to ask if he’s considered seeing a psychiatrist. He told me no, that it’s nobody else’s business, that everything’s okay now and that I shouldn’t mention the whole thing ever again.</p><p>I really, really, really want to believe J’s got it under control and there’s some other reason for the radio silence, maybe he’s just lost his phone or is too nervous about the wedding to talk with anyone or whatever, but there’s something that makes this so much worse.</p><p>I’m deliberately keeping this vague because I don’t want any of you to figure this out, but lately, this series of violent crimes has been all over the local news. They don’t have a suspect, but I’ve noticed there’s something that connects the cases to J. I’m not saying any more about that, but I’m 99% certain that’s what J’s been up to when he’s not himself, and if I’m right and he’s caught, he’s getting a life sentence. (Well of course, J could try using the insanity defense, but that’s rarely successful, and I don’t think he has a prior mental health diagnosis, so he’s even less likely to succeed. So I really wouldn’t count on that.)</p><p>I’ve never felt this conflicted in my life.</p><p>If I’m right about what he’s done… I know he should go to prison, because it’s absolutely terrible stuff. But at the same time, I know it’s not J who’s been doing all that. It’s clearly a mental illness thing and he’s obviously not responsible for his actions. I predict the judge may not see it that way, but I want to see him getting a second chance. I don’t want this horror show that’s been going on lately to define the whole rest of his life. I mean, I haven’t been that excited about J getting married for obvious reasons, but really, if that’s what he wants, I want it for him. Personally, I just want to keep him around. And maybe one day, I’ll become like an adopted uncle for J and E’s kids and will continue to be a part of his life that way?</p><p>But since J’s disappeared now… well, again, I’m not going into any more detail, but based on the stuff on the news, I have a reason to suspect he may present a danger to E, or some of the wedding guests.</p><p>I pray J’s okay, everything will go as planned tomorrow and none of this will ever be mentioned again. But if something goes wrong, well, do you think I’m overreacting if I take this Leatherman multitool my uncle once gave me with me? It fits in my pocket and it’s got this pretty nasty-looking knife that I could probably use to hold J back until the police arrive, if everything goes to shit? Obviously I don’t want to hurt him, I’m just wondering if I should have something I can use to scare him off if I have to? After all, I’m the only person at the wedding besides J who knows what’s been going on with him.</p><p>Please answer this asap, it’s past midnight and the wedding is at noon tomorrow.</p><p>TL;DR My best friend is getting married tomorrow and the worst-case scenario is he might go insane and hurt people, should I take a knife with me to fend him off if need be?</p><p> </p><p>
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  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
</p><p>CALL THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p>
  <em>u/onnobodysside</em>
</p><p>I can’t believe I’m writing this, but yes. Yes, you should take the knife with you. And please keep your phone at hand so you can call the police, should the need arise.</p><p>
  <em>u/DiesIrae_DiesIlla</em>
</p><p>Just stab him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/I_can_see_angels</em>
</p><p>OP, I am deeply concerned about your wellbeing right now. Please, whatever you do, keep us posted so we’ll know you’re not hurt.</p><p>Also, I understand you might not be in the right mindset for this, and you’re probably concerned about betraying J’s trust, but I’m sincerely asking you to consider telling E about this. If you truly believe she might be in danger, she deserves to know. If J’s got it under control and their relationship is meant to last, I’m certain they will work it out together, and in time, they will both be grateful to you for speaking out.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>u/liliesandashes</em>
</p><p>I mean it, call the cops RIGHT NOW!!!! SERIOUSLY. does anyone know where OP lives??? I’m calling them myself but I can’t even figure out the country based on his post history, all he’s doing here besides writing these is posting on the words with friends sub?????</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. [UPDATE] The last update on this</h2></a>
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  <em>Posted by u/otter_son 7 hours ago</em>
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  <strong>[UPDATE] The last update on this</strong>
</p><p>I don’t really want to talk about this, but I feel like I have to give you guys some sort of a closure.</p><p>The wedding was five days ago.</p><p>Here’s a TL;DR right out of the gate: the worst-case scenario came true.</p><p>When they were at the altar and the ceremony was about to start, J flipped out completely. He turned into another person altogether, like I saw him do some weeks ago but to the other direction. It’s all a blur in my mind, but E’s ex was at the wedding and out of the blue, J started smashing his head against one of the benches. I truly can’t say what provoked him to do it. After the ex lost consciousness, J kicked E’s dad hard enough that his knee was dislocated, and grabbed E.</p><p>At this point, everyone was running out and screaming and calling the police, J had E in a stranglehold, and I had taken the multitool out. J was saying that he will choke E if anyone comes any closer. I remember pointing the knife at J and telling him to let go of E. It really seemed like he was going to kill her, but then he looked at me and… it was like the real J came back for a second and let E go.</p><p>E ran away and J walked towards me. I was so terrified I hardly knew what was going on anymore, but I kept pointing the knife at him since I didn’t know if he was really back to his normal self or not. And then he started talking to me. He told me to do it, or he’s going to do it himself, because there’s no other way out.</p><p>So I’m just standing there, grasping the multitool tight because I don’t know what else to do, and suddenly, J’s putting his hands over mine and shoving the blade into his chest.</p><p>I tried to pull the tool back but he was holding onto it and my hands too hard, I couldn’t stop him.</p><p>He held my hands when he killed himself.</p><p>They took him to the hospital and he passed away later that night.</p><p>None of this feels real to me. Do you ever have those nightmares that feel so lifelike that after you wake up, you have to put on the light and tell yourself it was only a dream, to make the anxious feeling go away? That’s how I feel. Like it’s a nightmare that doesn’t go away and I can’t talk myself out of it.</p><p>You know when you think about the people you love, and though you’re not with them right now, you have this nice feeling? That they’re a part of your life and a part of the universe in general, I guess, and you’re happy to know that they’re out there? Whenever I manage to distract myself for a while, and then my mind wanders back to J, I feel that warmth for a nanosecond and then get this cold and empty feeling when I remember.</p><p>I guess I never gave up hope that one day, some miracle will take place and J will see me like I see him, and then we’ll finally be together. When I thought about the future (and I know this is ridiculous) I always imagined that in the end, he would be there, even when I knew he was getting married to E. I’ve been wishing so hard for so long, I can’t really grasp that it’s all over. That he’s gone and when I think about us, it’s all in the past tense now, there is no would-be future to look forward to, no chance of any miracles or what-ifs.</p><p>And I don’t know if I even knew J for real. I mean, I literally saw him turn into someone else and do things I could never have believed he was capable of. I’ve always preferred to believe that man is basically good, but now… I seriously don’t know anymore. Maybe I’ve been wrong about more than just J.</p><p>I’ve texted E that I know something about this I want to share with her, if she wants to hear it. She said she does, and we’re meeting up tomorrow to talk about everything. I’m thinking of sending her the links to these threads beforehand. I feel terrible about not telling her in time, so I guess the least I can do is to be 100% honest with her now.</p><p>And honestly? Maybe, if I hadn’t been such a fucking idiot all the way through and made all the wrong decisions, J would still be alive.</p><p>Anyway. Thank you for all the advice and support, everyone. You tried your best to help me out, and for that, I’m grateful. The funeral’s next weekend, and I have no idea how I’m going to get through it, but maybe it’ll help me to hold myself together somewhat to know there are so many people out there wishing me well.</p><p>I think I’m going to log out for a while now.</p><p> </p><p>
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